FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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