I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
