hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
