so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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