Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
