Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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