You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
