Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
