She said her name was "party"
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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