Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
