It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
