im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I need moral support for this bender
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
