Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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