I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
