bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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