Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize