Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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