If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
