i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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