WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
