Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
