that's an acceptable place to lick
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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