Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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