he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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