I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
