i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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