The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
