he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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