And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
