There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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