Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
