I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
