Umm I'm too high to move.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
