I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
