Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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