he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
