I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
