Me too!
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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