she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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