I love black thongs
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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