then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
