her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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