I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
