It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
They have beer where we have blood.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
