you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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