im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
