Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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