What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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