Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
