I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
