I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
In America we eat man semen.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
