hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
You're earring is so big in my mouth
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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