oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
