did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize