went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
