john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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