Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
We have started to decorate penises.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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