Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize