So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
she smelled like a LAN party
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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