why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
