sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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