I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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