Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
only you would photoshop your dick
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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