And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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