Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
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