YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
