Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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