omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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