people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
