Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
