You really coming over, don't trick.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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