addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Randomize
