look no pants
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
