it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
