i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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