I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Randomize
