enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
